Lifers Blog / HOME

And to think that TriLife coaches were uneducated enough to disaprove pre-Ironman visit by some of their athletes to a local CW bar (yes, CW as in “I like both kinds of music – Country and Western.”).  Now, after reading recent Hammacher Schlemmer catalog, it appears that everyone on the mechanical bulls at the local dives were actually working on their core strength…  It clearly explained so in the catalog page for the Five Axis Mechanical Core Muscle Trainer, marketed at $1,800 as home exercise machine. 

Let the catalog talk: “This is the low-impact mechanical exerciser that methodically tilts across five axes to effectively strengthen core muscles in your thighs, buttocks, back, and deep abdomen, helping improve your balance and posture, relieve back pain, and enhance torso stability…   The saddle tilts back and forth, left to right, up and down, and twists in pre-programmed sequences, building core muscle groups that are neglected by traditional training regimens… The seven programs (easy, light, moderate, advanced, waist, hip, legs) and nine speeds are easily controlled on the pommels LCD panel that also shows calories burned and the muscles being worked during each routine.  With a set of stirrups and handle to provide stability.”

Great $1,800 substitute solution to no-gear, no-nonsense protocols that worked for ages – Yoga, Pilates, crunches, planks, etc.  Since it’s new and expensive, public will assume it’s better and will buy it.  Yet another triumph of marketing and merchandizing over logic and simple commitment to the consistent personal fitness program.

Some sport products and services are outright frauds and misrepresentations (oxygenated water, etc.), some are misinformed or ineffective, some just a bit silly or unnecessary…  To celebrate human desire to invent solutions for the problems that do not exist, to exaggerate marketing claims or push questionable quality on athletes this blog category was created.  Since, naturally, this may/will offend parties with financial interest in such products and services, a disclaimer – this is MY PERSONAL OPINION and U.S. Constitution as well as Internet rules allow me such.

Here is one example of complicated solution to non-issue of carrying carbo gels on the bike.  Cheap enough for typical triathlete?  Check ($20).  Additional weight for the bike?  Check.  Increased complexity to carry gels on the bike?  Check.  Corporate marketing description?  Check (“first mass produced mounting platform for securing and transporting energy gel packs on a bicycle”).

Gelrilla Grip™ ”is designed to securely fasten Energy Gel Packs to Triathlon, Mountain and Road Bikes.”  While I am just smart enough to understand that my opinions do not represent all or even a majority of triathletes, they reflect 20 years of triathlon racing…  and I think gels can be easily carried in the Bento box (which improve aerodynamics), or in the back pockets, or even simply taped to the top tube.  Of course, company President Bradley Ward may know better since since 2005 “he began participating in triathlon events. Throughout his training and subsequent racing events, Bradley was frustrated with the common practice of using electrical tape to secure his gel packs to his bicycle and thought to himself “there’s gotta be a better way!” With that simple declaration, the creation of the company was set in motion.”