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NBC’s magic failed with this coach.  I never watched so little Olympic coverage as this year.  NBC valiantly tried… but my desire to sleep, not having access to TV on weekends, and minimal coverage of sports I adore have undermined NBC’s beautiful plan to preoccupy my daily life…  As a result, my recollections of this Summer Games are not Opening/Closing Ceremonies, programmed stories of “interest,” and “major” sports but smaller glimpses into athletes personal stories, cultural misunderstandings, and unplanned humor.  In not particular order I present some of these memories: 

Japanese synchronized swimmer, Hiromi Kobayashi, sinking to the bottom of the pool after their team routine.  She had to be rescued (noticed those lifeguards in the chairs mid-pool) and was carried out of the natatorium on a stretcher.  Media officer for the Japanese team said: “That kind of thing has happened to her before.  She is a very nervous athlete.”  Japan was assessed a two-point penalty for touching the bottom of the pool during its routine.

Angel Valodia Matos, a Cuban taekwondo competitor attacked and kicked referee in the face, chased another referee, spit on the floor, and was “helped out” from the building.  This reaction was prompted after the ref called a disqualification on him for taking too long to return to the mat after an injury.  Matos was leading 3-2, when he went down with a foot injury after being hit by a Russian opponent.  He had one minute injury timeout, and the referee DQ’ed him as soon as the time elapsed.  Both Matos and his coach have been immediately given a lifetime ban from all World Taekwondo Federation championships.  Matos’s coach was unapologetic, saying the referee was “too strict”.

Dzhakhon Kurbanov, a light heavyweight from Tajikistan, was disqualified for biting his opponent, Yerkebulan Shynaliyevon of Kazakhstan, on the shoulder.  The infraction occurred with17 seconds left in the third round, with Kurbanov behind 12-6.

Back to synchronized swimming…  Spanish duo was disqualified for wearing waterproof lights embedded in their swimsuits.

U.S. women’s soccer player Natasha Kai’s father.

Spanish cyclist Maria Isobel Moreno was the first athlete to fail a doping test at the Olympic Games.  27-year-old tested positive for EPO.  She left the athletes’ village under cover of night even before she knew of the official results of the test… on her bike.

Ms. Bug Catcher, Chinese woman with a large net to catch the moths that flock to the beach volleyball courts in the evening.  Also, “multicultural sensitivity” that insured that beach volleyball cheerleading squad had both Chinese and Caucasian (Spanish) young women in bikinis (I did not say gender-sensitive… there were no male cheerleaders during women’s beach volleyball games).

The “Jaws” music theme during the water polo face-offs (when players swim toward the ball dropped in the middle of the pool between the teams).

U.S. sailor, John Dane III, finished 11th (just one out of the top 10 boats that go into medal race) at age 58, proving that “if there is a itch, there is a scratch” and that being a millionaire yacht builder has its own performance-enhancing benefits.

Natalie du Toit, South African swimmer, and a leg amputee, finished 16th in the 10K open water swim.  But her story deserves a gold medal.

So the Summer Games are on with the usual proceedings – athletes winning medals, athletes having ”medical reasons” to withdraw from the Games, even athletes having great time.  I tried to follow the Games on TV but NBC programming runs against my personal preferences and toward what their advertisers perceive to be the audience.  I did re-learn that NBC has a “word budget” – they severely limit use of any nouns, adjectives and verbs besides the excessively sentimental and florid toolset of “Olympic spirit, victory, USA, dream, medal count, adversity, we’ll be back after this commercial break, courage, tears of, emotions, suspicious judging, hardship, heroic, journey to Beijing, magic, proud mother/father/parents/family, sacrifice, and overcome.”

I also was finally exposed (as in infectious diseases) to the current Olympic Games mascots.  I think mascots have a legitimate purposes: to provide visual identity for the specific Games or team, to “cutenize” sport, and to sell more souvenirs.  The only thing missing is the actual thoughtful and tasteful execution – final products of Olympic Games mascot design either make me tremble in fear (like clowns when I was young), scratch my head in attempt to recognize their identity (is it animal, vegetable, inorganic, or alien matter?), or smile with sadness as when you see a very promising person settling on being a Post Office employee (I know, I know, there is nothing wrong with such career, and I respect man and women of the U.S. Postal Service).

Back to the Beijing Olympic mascots - the Fuwa (“good luck dolls”, also used to be known as the “Friendlies”) which comprise of five creatures: Beibei (fish). Nini (bird), Yingying (antelope),  Jingjing (panda) and Huanhuan (cute little Pyro child with flames leaping from his head).  Their names when put together sound identical to a phrase meaning “Beijing welcomes you.” Do I detect a product which resulted from a decision by committee of several sub-committees?  Cute anime characters?  Check.  Soft, small, and nonthreatening? Check. Individual back stories which refer to assorted cultural traditions of the host country?  Check. Quintuple opportunity to sell more merchandise?  Check, check, check, check, check.

To be gracious and not single out only the Fuwa, think back about the rest of the demented, under-formed, overconceptulaized and generally lame mascots of the past Olympics?  

The first mascot in Olympics appeared at the 1972 Munich Olympic Games (ominous beginning).  Since than, IOC/Games organisers half-heartily attempted to live up to their mascot definition of “unique and popular image full of vitality, a mascot is able to materialize the Olympic spirit, communicate the concepts of each Olympic Games, promote the history and culture of the host city and create a festive atmosphere for the Games.  Whatever shapes they have, they fundamentally share a creative rationale, that is, the mascots must be able to convey the theme of the Olympic Games, showcase the distinctive geographical features, history and culture unique to the host city.”

Here are some examples of lame design or decisions.  How is this Magique from 1992 Albertville Winter Games, a star shaped “something” with pom-pom fez? 

So dear to me Lake Placid in the 1980 Winter Games had a live mascot - local raccoon Rocky who could not take the celebrity status and died before the Games began.  He was replaced by a graphical representation of the raccoon – Roni (who lookes like he was created overnight in local Kinko’s). 

The 2006 Turin Winter Games mascots were ice cube and snow ball (there must be a dirty joke here somewhere - cold balls and ice cubes – but I will settle in my own SFW attempt: “Q: Why was the sad snow ball not white anymore? A: Because it was blue.”).

The 1992 Barcelona Summer Games had deformed dog mascot, which the creator claimed he’d under-drawn since he was stoned at the time.  

The 1996 Atlanta Summer Games shape-shifting mascot – “Whatzit,” “Whatizhee,” or ”Izzy” – is too freaky to comprehend or to identify.  

Sadly things are not improving – the 2010 Winter Games in Vancouver (oh those sophisticated Canadians) are planning to use something called Miga (a sea bear – part orca and part kermode bear?), a Sasquatch that (I am not making this up) ”comes from the mysterious forests of Canada and dreams of being a hockey goalie”, and Sumi (an animal guardian spirit with the wings of the Thunderbird, legs of a black bear, and a hat of an orca whale).

‘nough said.  Let’s hope that the future mascots will be results of clear vision, taste, and good graphic design skills.